Perhaps the biggest demand from consumers these days is to have a say in how they engage with companies. Permission-based marketing was a good start, but it’s now insufficient. “Permission doesn’t get you to disclose your preferences, dislikes, or who in your organization should get information when, and via what medium,” says Ernan Roman, president of Ernan Roman Direct Marketing, based in Douglas Manor, N.Y. “That active engagement can only be achieved if the marketer gets creative enough to give customers a value proposition that makes it worth their while to self-profile.”

Roman advocates a process he developed called “consensual opt-in marketing” that involves using comprehensive research to learn what customers expect in a consensual relationship, how they want the marketer to behave, and how to sustain relevance over time. That knowledge allows a company to create opt-in relationship marketing programs tailored to its customers’ unique needs. According to Roman, consensual opt-in marketing efforts boast response rates up to 20 times higher than the industry average.

Kelly Mooney, co-author of The Ten Demandments, says the keys to successful customer relationship marketing across all industries are careful listening, a focused analysis of customer data, and a willingness to make changes to a marketing program on the fly. Mooney cites one big obstacle, however. “Too many companies define their customers as just this big blunt audience,” she says. “Segments have to become much sharper, more intimate, and more known throughout the company. It’s hard to give truly superior service if you don’t know who you’re talking to and what really matters to them.”

In the end, companies looking to satisfy today’s demanding customers may need to reexamine their priorities. “The focus has got to be on relationships,” Roman says. “If you get the relationship dynamics and satisfaction right, the revenue will follow.”

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